Recovery begins at different times for everyone, but it never ends. You may have times in your life when you are working on your recovery and times when you are not, but growth and change are inevitable. For me personally, my recovery journey began at the age of 18. Yours may have begun long ago, or you may just be beginning your recovery journey. It is never too late to heal and recover from any form of abuse.
I hope to share on this page resources and tools that have helped me and thousands of others and will hopefully help you in your recovery process. There is a saying that “When the student is ready, the teacher will present himself.” I have found this to be very true in the recovery process. Everything seems to come to me just when I need it, a book shows up, I see something on TV, I read an article, a message that seems like it is tailor-made just for me pops up on my Facebook page. Always just what I need and right on time.
I learned in Alanon how to ask for help, literally and figuratively. I now ask for help when I need it. Not only from those around me, but I also say prayers out loud or write them out in emails to myself. I like to think of them as requests to the Universe, request to the Universe for help. I figure it couldn’t hurt right? This asking God/ the Universe for help thing. It helps me to release some of the fear, pain, worry or whatever else I may be feeling. A method to “Giving it to God”, as they say in Alanon. If you don’t believe in God you can just send it to the Universe, you know for sure that exists and as they say in Alanon, “The only thing you need to know about God is you’re not it.”
My next stage of my recovery began with getting involved in energy work. I know for many it may seem like a new concept, this whole “energy psychology” field people are starting to really pay attention to, but it is nothing new at all really. For instance, one form of energy therapy called Reiki has been around for thousands of years. Even the Bible references to the “laying on of hands” in healing others. Other healing methods such as acupuncture or acupressure as well as meditation, have been around for thousands of years as well. While all of the above mentioned are wonderful tools that you can utilize in your recovery, another newer form of energy therapy that I heavily rely on in my recovery is EFT Tapping as well as Hypnosis. I have gotten healing benefits from each of these practices, as well as doing affirmations and mirror work as recommended by Louise Hay.
A more recent tool that I have utilized that has helped me and many others in recovery is the use of manifesting, by following the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction was made popular by the movie “The Secret”; Oprah had the entire cast on her show. The Law of Attraction and manifesting is taught by others like Esther Hicks, through the teachings of Abraham. The first time I saw a DVD of Esther Hicks, she may as well have been speaking Chinese! I didn’t understand anything she was talking about. As I raised my vibration through meditation and Reiki work and opened up more to my higher self and guidance system or inner voice and wisdom, the work of people like Esther Hicks really started to resonate with me. Some people think it’s woo woo, that’s fine for them. It will either resonate with you and you will get something positive out of it or it won’t make any sense at all to you. You may try it and not like it or understand what she is saying the way I didn’t at first and later you may hear it again and love it. This is about presenting recovery resources that have helped me and others, but it’s about what resonates with you, so “take what you like and leave the rest.”
I frequently listen to Abraham teachings on YouTube, I search for subjects that I am currently dealing with and always find just what I needed to hear through listening. I have even been to an Abraham Conference in Boston and my first time ever going I was able to manifest myself on stage. What an amazing experience I had while surrounded by wonderful, supportive and positive people. It was lovely and again I got just what I needed, right on time! This concept, idea, belief, law, however, is nothing new. It is referenced in the bible as well, through the concept of “Ask and ye shall receive.” These ideas that thoughts create things & words create too are very important. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of this in your recovery. The reason I cannot, is because once you realize that you are the creator of your life and everything in it, you can change it. You can take back your life; take back your power, the personal power that is often taken when you are a survivor of abuse. Your life all that is in it can become the life of your dreams.
Writing is another great healing tool in the recovery process. I do journal writing, a gratitude journal, book of positive aspects and focus wheels. I write reminders or print out inspirational quotes and put them on my fridge. Write out what you want, talk about what you want, think about what you want and ask for what you want. Talk about what you love and are grateful for all day long. The complaining only gets you more of what you are complaining about and don’t want. Thinking and talking about what you want, brings you more of what you want. How great is that! I’ve done this for years and this stuff works.
If you’re like me where you were silenced and unable to have your voice heard growing up, writing is an excellent way to get it all out. Please do not however email it afterwards, the way I used to in my early days of recovery! This recovery work is for you and not anyone else. So write it out, rip it up, burn it whatever, then ask to be released from it and the pain, also to forgive yourself and others. The forgiveness is for you not them. As it is said, “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
Be angry, feel it, scream, yell into a pillow, hit the bed, wail, sob, rip paper, hit a tree with a bat (not aluminum), whatever you can do to release it that is safe and doesn’t harm yourself or others. I used to drive to a remote places in my car, turn off all the lights, lock the doors and just scream, rage and sob while doing tapping. Release it, no more stuffing it down.
If you can’t forgive right now that is okay too. Just keep writing and asking that one day you will. That one day you will be released from the pain, anger and rage, but let yourself feel all of the feelings that you have. Stick with your recovery and remember that it is a lifelong process. You may get there and you may not and that is okay. You will however, get a little better each day and “Each new day, brings a little less hurt.”
Wishing you well on your healing journey Anne-Marie Wiesman