Doing the recovery work, you never graduate.

Are you doing the work?

Why doing the work is so important!

Louise Hay is my idol. That woman knows her stuff! Louise is such an incredible gift to the world with the healing gifts she teaches others. If anyone out there doubts her work or thinks it woo woo. I dare you to stand in front of a mirror and say, “I love you,” to yourself, then watch what happens. Once you get past the incredible awkwardness of actually doing it, something amazing happens. There is a connection there as if you are speaking directly to your soul. Once you get the hang of it, some true recovery can begin.

I had done mirror work quite a bit right after reading “You can heal you life.” It slowed off after that. That was until today when I was drawn to do some mirror work after a tapping session. My tapping was based on an article I had read about Louise and her mentioning of a tip on thyroid issues. That article led me to another article regarding a statement that, “all autoimmune diseases are based on self hate.” Hatred of self? Who would hate themselves? And if anyone did, who would actually admit it?

I was intrigued to say the least. Especially since I personally suffer from not one but two autoimmune diseases. The article resonated with me. Did I actually hate myself and could you too? I knew about muscle testing for use in EFT. So I decided to do a simple muscle test using my fingers while I asked myself, ” Do I hate myself?” The muscle test resulted in a resounding YES!

While the results were interesting, I really wasn’t surprised. After all the way I had treated myself and allowed others to treat me was a pretty good indicator that loving myself was not apart of my life. It got me thinking for a minute, “did everyone secretly hate themselves?” Was this some sort of unspoken phenomenon? I quickly asked my husband if he would muscle test while asking himself the very same question. He played along as I watched, his muscle test result was a very clear NO.

I had my answer and knew I had some serious work to do. Maybe this guy who had made the statement about, hatred of self playing a role in autoimmune disease was on to something. After all autoimmune disease is the body literally attacking itself. If you hate something isn’t your natural instinct to “attack.” Was my body attacking itself because of my hatred of myself?

I knew some EFT tapping was in order to explore this some more and see if I could retrieve anything deeper and hopefully try to change or release this hatred of self. I set out to get to work on this. As I began the tapping with the set up statement around “even though I hate myself, I accept myself anyway.” As I worked through the set up statements and began tapping on each point, it wasn’t long before the tears started to flow. It turns out what came up was that I hated myself for all the dumb decisions and mistakes I’d ever made.

Not only did I confirm I hated myself, some colorful choice words came out while tapping. Apparently I not only hated myself, I F****** hated myself! I also had the feeling rise up out of me that I wanted to hit myself. I thankfully know I’m not alone in this. I’ve heard of others feeling this way. This wanting to literally beat ourselves up, I’ve actually hit myself in the face and head before. Which is embarrassing to admit out loud, but my husband has said he has done it too. This recovery stuff is no walk in the park.

Why would I want to beat the S*** out of myself? Well I verbally and sometimes physically got the S*** beat out of me growing up by my mother and I continued the assaults on myself in my head all day everyday for years. In fact it may have been my favorite past time, beating myself up that is. So why wouldn’t I hate myself? Of course I did. After all I was an unlovable, unworthy, never good enough…and all the other BS beliefs that were passed on to me that I believed about myself.

I cried and tapped through it all. Then I worked on turning it around. Wondering if maybe I could lighten up on myself a little, maybe even forgive myself. The releasing was happening and it felt good. It was after this as I mentioned earlier that I was drawn to the mirror. I looked in it knowing that the beginning first awkward ” I love you,” needed to be said as I looked at myself.

Then something different than has ever happened before started to happen. I felt a deep connection with myself. Unlike I had ever felt before. I looked deeper into my eyes as I repeated over and over I love you Anne, again and again, as an excruciating pain as I’ve only ever felt with grief rose from my gut, up and out of me as I sobbed uncontrollably.

I cried so hard I had to stop to catch my breath. I was then driven from a place deep with in to then repeat again and again, I forgive you, please forgive me, the tears spilled out of me. I had never had such intimate, release and healing before in my mirror work as I had that day. It reminded me that this work & mirror work is so important and that this work truly does not end.

Please do some exploring on your own to find out, ” Do I hate myself?” If you do as I did, I hope you will tap on it, release it and try Louise’s mirror work to start to turn around your self hate- into self love. My wish for you is that you start to learn to love yourself and forgive yourself starting today.

Wishing you well on your healing journey Anne-Marie.

 

 

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